Week 47. Death.

Just when you think your whole life is falling apart, you suddenly notice that it did, and you're in the middle of a beautiful new dawning.

Week 47 was such an intense struggle to hold on to things that once were so important and fulfilling. Once you lose the feeling for them in your heart, you feel angry and dissappointed, terrified and desperate, for what is left once they're taken away? Nothing? So you try to tell yourself it'll pass, you're just having a bad day, until the weight of the lies crushes all those covers... That's when the new dawn emerges. So sudden, so soft, so full of light air. And you see how nothing actually died, it was just time to step onto the next level and expand. The circle is really a spiral...

Making this was not easy. Death was lingering all over and setting all the rice grains, mungbeans and lentils was such a test for the nerves.

I went to bed feeling uncomfortable with this, wanting to wipe it away.

However, the next morning I saw it in a new light and felt peace.

Life is miraculous.

It is still on the floor, third day.

Week 46. Movement.

Creation that happens in the now and leaves no structure behind to hold energy in place is a wonderful opportunity to study (and celebrate!) your relationship with the eternal momentariness of everything. Like dancing - the very moment the movement manifests into existence it is gone. You can not hold on to it, keep it, freeze it. A little like the mandalas that exist only for a few days. Creation becomes more intense, more precious, when you are consciously aware of the fruit's brief existence in space and time.

Building mandalas which need to be deconstructed as a part of the process help me, among other things, practise letting go. Sometimes I want to prolong having the mandala on place although I get a strong feeling that it is time to take it apart. Like this week. Having created a farewell mandala to a loved one I had to part ways with, it was really difficult to take it apart. I felt it would be like cutting the final chord between us. It was so beautiful and felt safe, yet I had this feeling in my heart that it was time - the energy held in place by the pattern was turning restless to move on. Letting go often generates grief, but stuck energy always generates unneccessary pain and frustration.

What a powerful week.

 

Week 46 began with a powerful conjunction between Mars and Pluto.

To me, the mandala suggested that the fierce fires of transformation would

be delicate and compelling.

Stayed for 4 days.

 

And they were. 

Stayed for 2 days.

November, beginning

November - a month to dive deep, focus on the internal, explore the treasure cave... No choice, as the darkness falls and the energy gets heavy, in a soft and velvety way. You breathe with the Earth's rhythm. A good time to birth a project of building intuitive mandalas. I'm excited about what comes of it...

Building mandalas on the living room floor is a perfect way to live through the creative process as a whole - materia takes shape and scatters again. Birth, growth, flowering, fading, death. Ah, life!
The energy of the mandala, which fills the room and sometimes even lingers on you where ever you go, is sometimes strong and assertive, sometimes airy and subtle, sometimes playful, anything really. Sometimes the mandala speaks, gives words, sometimes it is still. But the message is always there for the reader. True understanding is beyond understanding...

"Welcome, November darkness" was the whisper in it's rhythm.
November's darkness is actually supportive and nurturing, once you lose the collectively
supported idea of it as depressing and draining.

The first mandala to begin the project. Stayed for 3 days.
I'm so happy!